Here we go. Azerbaijan’s stock has fallen a bit after the semi, and because it’s got the opening slot on the night. Adorable magic pixie German girl benefits!
1. Germany
2. Azerbaijan
3. Turkey
4. Belgium
5. Armenia
6. Israel
7. Denmark
8. Georgia
9. Ireland
10. Romania
Last place: United Kingdom
No nul points this year.
If I had a vote, I would vote for Serbia, because I am so cheeky.
Ok, here’s my top 10, plus last place. Given an erratic draw and new voting rules, I am not confident in this order.
1. Denmark
2. Germany
3. Azerbaijan
4. Israel
5. Ireland
6. Turkey
7. Armenia
8. Belgium
9. Greece
10. Iceland
…
25. United Kingdom
Sorry, site was down during the critical semifinal 2 time. Here were our picks for semifinal 2. 8 of 10 for Jen, 7 of 10 for Chris, not bad. And overall, pleased with the outcome. Not shocked by Sweden’s exit: the song wasn’t good, it was poorly sung, and the production was bloated, a triple whammy.
Jen
Armenia
Israel
Denmark
Sweden
Azerbaijan
Romania
Ireland
Croatia
Georgia
Turkey
Chris
Armenia
Israel
Denmark
Sweden
Azerbaijan
Ireland
Bulgaria
Croatia
Georgia
Turkey
Let’s compare what I predicted and what actually happened:
Me:
Last: France |
Europe:
Last: Finland |
I put the predictions I got correct in bold, and I italicized correct calls in the top 10.
Obviously, I overvalued Finland and undervalued France. As it turns out, Finland was the jury pick in the first semi, leapfrogging over FYR Macedonia and Montenegro to get to the final.
Asides: As unbelievable as it sounds to me, Croatia actually was the jury pick in the second semi, knocking out Serbia and jumping over Ireland and Poland. Also, the Czech Republic finished with nil point. Ouch. Even Belgium got une point. Tragically, Latvia got seven points in its semi. Oof.
Anyway, as it turns out, Patricia Kaas has a pretty big following, which carried France to eighth place. Had I done research…
I don’t think I was the only one who was shocked that Greece did not finish second. I’d say that performing eighth might have hurt Sakis’ chances, except that Jóhanna went seventh, and Iceland finished second. I also neglected to put Bosnia and Herzegovina in the top 10, which was a foolish mistake on my part.
So let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: can anyone beat Norway? No. Greece may come close, but Sakis shall have no cigar. There you go.
I’ve been trying for most of the day to figure out what my top 10 and last place predictions are going to be. Frankly, it’s difficult, because Croatia aside, this is a pretty strong year. It’s certainly the best one since I’ve started watching Eurovision religiously. About the only two things I can say with any certainty is that Norway is going to win and there will be no nil point this year.
In a fair and just world, Croatia would finish last place, but I really don’t see that happening. I’m going with France, because it’s third in the line-up and way too freaking French. Croatia will probably finish 15th.
For the top 10… well, I’m going with pure gut on this:
Now, I’m off to practice saying “I’m Gumby, dammit” in Albanian until our guests arrive for the big show.
Before I start the recap from last night’s semi-final, here were Jen’s predictions for the result, which she made right after the performances were over:
Jen wasn’t confident in her Czech pick, but thought it was gimmicky enough to go through. She picked Finland because “Lose Control” is already a dance hit in Europe, and honestly, if I had known that, I probably would have picked Finland over Andorra.
Jen also picked Iceland based on the quality of Jóhanna’s performance. I have to say, she was really good (as was the staging… except for the animated dolphin flying through the sky). The song had done nothing for me before, but, like Norway’s Maria Haukaas Storeng last year, Jóhanna won me over.
In the end, we both got eight out of 10 right. Here are the results of the first semi:
The really disappointing thing for both of us was that Montenegro didn’t go through. It’s a great song, and Andrea Demirović sang it well. Also, her backup dancer was fantastic in a completely campy way. Words can’t describe it, so just go watch it. It’s worth it.
Speaking of things that words can’t describe, the opening number for the show was this big fairy tale story about Russian kids who learn to fly from a phoenix that they later help defeat a dragon. The narration was done by an American, although I have no idea who. I’m pretending it was Sam Waterston.
The vote-tabulation entertainment was a Russian military choir singing traditional songs while Russian dancers did traditional dances. It was very Soviet, actually, but to Russia’s credit, the tank and the MIG that were on stage were painted in festive colors. The tank, for example, was pink with flowers on it. t.A.T.u. showed up at the end, and the best part of their performance was that the military choir sang back-up for them.
When the show began, the first thing we noticed (because it was hard to miss) was that the stage was enormous. While the performers are closer to the audience than they have been the past few years, they are also dwarfed by the width of the stage. Moreover, the video screens behind them are as long as the stage, with additional ones that tower over the performers. If the graphics behind flashed on the screen are too busy, as they often were, performers can easily get lost.
In fact, some of the performances that stood out were ones that made minimal use of the video screens. As mentioned, Iceland did well with just clouds and the occasional dolphin as a backdrop. Malta’s Chiara had nothing but a starfield. In fact, she didn’t have back-up singers, which was a brave, but effective choice.
On the other hand, Turkey’s Hadise and her female back-up singers and dancers were dressed in red (the males were in olive), and they performed in front of a red video, so they all got completely lost. That Hadise sucks at belly dancing didn’t help. On the other hand, she made it through, because, well, she’s from Turkey. Only Dustin the Turkey as an entrant would keep Turkey from getting out of the semis. And even then I’m not sure.
Both the semis are being hosted by model Natalia Vodyanova and TV host Andrey Malakhov, and they of course were charmingly cheesy. Unlike the backstage reporter, whose name I didn’t catch, who was so skeezy that at one point, he actually made one of the Belgian back-up singers visibly uncomfortable.
Anyway, Natalia and particularly Andrey had the gregarious enthusiasm you’d expect from someone at a karaoke bar with a belly full of vodka. They had a lot of jokes, but because English is not their first language, their timing on the jokes was just terrible.
They were more funny with their off-the-cuff banter during the announcement of the finalists. The best part: when Israel got through, Andrey said, “The most political-correct song of the Eurovision 2009 goes to THE FINAL!” Brilliant.
Former Eurovision contestant Alsou and “media personality” Ivan Urgant are the hosts of the finals, so I’m going to miss Natalia and Andrey when they’re done hosting. Fortunately, we’ve got one more night with them tomorrow.
Tonight is the first semi-final for the Eurovision Song Contest, or as I like to call it, “The Weak-ass Semi-Final.” Let’s be honest, with a couple of exceptions, this is not a strong line-up, particularly compared with the second semi on Thursday.
In fact, two of my three least favorite songs are here: the Czech entry “Aven Romale” and the Belgium entry “Copycat“, which I think is one of the worst Eurovision songs ever. (Which, when you think about it, is really saying something.) Fortunately, these two songs are second and third on the night respectively, and I at least have hopes that Gipsy.cz will offer an amusing performance.
Ten songs go through, and I could try to explain the arcane rules behind the voting, but you might just want to visit the Wikipedia page on this year’s contest for that. Instead, here are my picks to go on to the final. We’ll see tomorrow how inaccurate these turn out to be.
You can watch the big show live at at the Eurovision website at 9:00p CET/3:00p EDT, or on-demand after the show (probably around 1:00a CET/7:00p EDT).
After one year of delving into the hard rock genre (successfully, in my mind), Turkey returns to what it does best: sexy Mediterranean Europop. Here’s Hadise’s “Düm Tek Tek“:
Guess what? It’s going to get stuck in your head for days, and you’re not going to mind all that much.
It’s Eurovision time again, and why not kick off the show in Belgrade with last year’s winner, Marija Šerifović? She does “Molitva,” which for tonight’s show has a more Euro-dance feel to it, not to mention gender-bending back-up dancers. She also does a second song that features the lyric, “They will find one day/Love DNA.”
After a little introductory spiel from hosts Jovana Janković and Željko Joksimović, we get underway.
1. Romania
Bad first note from Nico. In fact, she’s pretty awful tonight. It’s like Vlad is the Steve Lawrence of Romania and Nico is the Eydie Gorme.
2. United Kingdom
It really sucks Andy Abraham is going second. I do love this song, and he does a great job. Slick, polished fun.
3. Albania
Olta Boka just cannot carry that chorus. Her voice lacks the richness to sing it over the orchestration by herself. I kinda like the song, but her performance doesn’t do it for me.
4. Germany
Die alle Heiligen! No, wait, No Angels are nowhere near as good as All Saints. The chorus is actively annoying, and the blonde singer is so far out of tune that she might as well be singing “I’m a Little Teapot.” Horrible.
5. Armenia
Love the song, but Sirusho was a bit flat throughout. Better than her performance in the semis, but still not as good as it could be.
6. Bosnia & Herzegovina
The staging of “Pokušaj” strikes me as a window into how Bosnians interpret French comedies. Regardless, it brings a tear to my eye. I love this song so much. (Sir Terry Wogan appeared to have liked it too, until it got more votes than the U.K.)
7. Israel
Man, I really can’t stand Boaz’ upper register. I wish Dana International did this song, seeing as she wrote it and all.
8. Finland
Bathroom break.
9. Croatia
If it weren’t for 75 Cent yelling at me, I’d completely forget about this number.
10. Poland
Sayeth Sir Terry: “The brightest teeth outside of the Osmond family.” The fake tan brings out the whiteness.
11. Iceland
The orchestration is terrific, the performance is fantastic. A Euro-dance classic.
12. Turkey
The more I hear Mor ve Ötesi’s live performance of this song, the more I like it. I wasn’t sure about Turkey deviating from the Mediterranean pop, but this is a really good song.
13. Portugal
Vânia Fernandes is far and away the best singer at Eurovision. Terrific performance. Maybe a little block voting from Andorra, Spain, and France will help. Romance languages gots ta stick together.
14. Latvia
God, this is so dumb.
The second semi-finals of the Eurovision Song Contest were held in Belgrade, Serbia earlier tonight. As with the first semis, I’ve divided my recap into two parts. Again, unless I mention that the dancing was good, assume that the dancing sucked.
1. Iceland
I love this song. It’s got a Real McCoy feel to it. Euroband’s performance is excellent, but I fear that going first may kill their chances.
2. Sweden
My god, Charlotte Perrelli has had a lot of work done. I mean, she looks unnatural. The song is catchy and she sings it well, so overall a good performance. Nil point for the plastic surgeon, though.
3. Turkey
Turkey’s rocking out this year. I wasn’t into this song before, but Mor ve Ötesi’s performance is very good. They sound great, and they have a lot of intensity. So far, so good tonight.
4. Ukraine
I think Dima Bilan is going to win Eurovision for Russia, but Ani Lorak’s “Shady Lady” is definitely my favorite song this year. The staging of this number is fun. The male dancers are in this box that lights up on each of them during the opening lines of the song. That description so doesn’t do this justice, so just check out the video from the show:
Just fantastic.
5. Lithuania
Now the evening goes downhill. This is absolutely awful. Jeronimas Milius’ singing is all over the place, and he’s over-emoting horribly. This is the Eurovision equivalent of Laurence Olivier in The Jazz Singer. Abysmal.
6. Albania
Olta Boka is not a horrible singer, but she doesn’t have an intense enough voice to handle the chorus of the song. It’s kind of an amateurish performance, which is too bad, because the song is not bad.
7. Switzerland
Here’s your Johnny Logan number for the night. Unfortunately, while “Era Stupendo” is not horrible, Paolo has trouble holding notes. He goes flat if he holds a note longer than three seconds. It’s a problem, but I’m sure this one goes through anyway.
8. Czech Republic
I had high hopes for this, because while “Have Some Fun” is not a profound song by any means, the recorded track sounded pretty good. Live, however, this was an absolute train wreck. They’ve remixed the song for the show and added a deejay who yells throughout the entire song. There are lots of extraneous explosions at random times during the song. The dancing is strikingly awful, even by Eurovision standards. And the singer, Tereza, is completely drowned out by the music. This is utterly atrocious.
9. Belarus
This song is called “Hasta La Vista.” How appropriate. This is so bad that I found myself looking forward to the day Belarus merges into Russia. Also, there are these big mounds with lights in them on the stage that look like leftover props from Invasion of the Body Snatchers: The Musical.
10. Latvia
“Wolves of the Sea” by Pirates of the Sea. Sample lyrics: “We’re robbing you blind/I hope you don’t mind” and “There’s no Peter Pan, so what can you do?” All I can say is never underestimate Rednex’ influence. Still, this is cute enough to go through, I bet.
More in part two.