How to describe Quartissimo and Martina Majerle’s “Love Symphony?” It’s like Trans-Siberian Orchestra goes disco? It’s like Il Divo with strings? It’s like an Eastern European “Fifth of Beethoven?” It’s like really annoying? Yes, let’s go with that one.
Not that I spent a lot of time contemplating this, but there is no way Martina Majerle did NOT use a ton of tape to keep the top of her dress in place.
The first semi-finals of the Eurovision Song Contest were held in Belgrade, Serbia earlier tonight. Here is the first part of my notes about the show. By the way, unless I mention that the dancing was good, assume, as always, that the dancing sucked.
After the opening festivities, with the first klezmer version of “Waterloo” I’ve ever heard, we jump in with…
1. Montenegro
Thanks for playing.
2. Israel
I hate the sound of Boaz’ voice in his upper register. The song itself is good, but his voice is a bit nasal. Still, he’s a good enough singer, and certainly dreamy, so he might just be memorable enough to make it to the finals.
3. ESTONIA!!!!!
“Leto Svet” is just… odd. The song has grown on me, actually, the way Verka did last year, but the staging is so… odd. I mean, I know it’s a jokey song and all, but still… odd. There’s a bit of booing after the song is over.
4. Moldova
Ah, the Bacharach song. Geta is performing on a couch with a teddy bear and a trumpet player. The performance is competent, although I think she goes flat a bit in the end. Not bad, but I don’t know what her chances are to escape the semi-final.
5. San Marino
I forgot about this song while I was watching it.
6. Belgium
This is frigging adorable. Pitchy, but adorable. Also, the lead singer is wearing a costume made from old White Stripes backdrops. The crowd is clapping along, but I’ll be honest: a little of this song goes a long way, and it went further than that.
7. Azerbaijan
High concept: Elnur is dressed in white as an angel, and Samir is dressed in black as an evil guy, but the twist at the end is that Samir has a face turn and changes into a white outfit. This is so very silly, and so very shrill. In other words, it is everything that’s right about Eurovision and wrong about Eurovision all in one over-the-top package.
8. Slovenia
S&M! Rebeka starts off in chains, surrounded by gimps (well, just two, but they move around a lot). Then she breaks her chains and changes her costume all at the same time. This is serviceable Euro-dance-pop, competent, but hardly memorable. Still, it could go through.
9. Norway
A little tip for anyone who stages Eurovision numbers: don’t have back-up dancers who are all a foot taller than the lead singer. This is another song that has grown on me, but still, you can’t get past those lyrics: “Love can be hard sometimes/Yes, it can catch you off-guard like bad crimes.”
10. Poland
Apparently, Poland is still behind in tanning booth technology. Isis Gee is so tan she’s almost leathery. I mean, seriously, she looks like Barbie hitting middle age like a divorced Beverly Hills socialite. The song is a grand power ballad in the Celine Dion vein, and it’s not bad at all.
More in the next post…
Eurovision is doing things a little differently this year, because the number of countries participating is ever-increasing (especially since new countries keep popping up; Kosovo, we’re looking at you). The organizers have divided the semi-finals into two groups. The top nine vote-getters from the two semi-finals will make the finals, along with the host country and the Big Four. In addition, a special jury will select one wild card each from the two semi-final groups.
Here are the countries participating in the first semi-final, in order of appearance:
Rebeka Dremelj will represent Slovenia in Belgrade this year with “Vrag naj vzame,” which is a pretty generic Eurovision track.
Notes taken during the show but not posted…
1. Bosnia & Herzogovena
Natalie Portman isn’t known for her singing. Dressed like a chartreuse ballerina, and I don’t know why she has on her hand a giant postage stamp with a grasshopper in it. But, hey, at least all the dry ice means I don’t have to see how she’s dressed anymore. The backup singers are white figure pottery.
Started rough at first – but got bettter as the song went on. Boring song – closing credits to a Bond film.
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2. Spain
Well, now the competition begins, and Spain comes on with a high energy performance. All dressed in white, they look like 98 degrees. Probably could’ve won 5 years ago – except it’s not 5 years ago. Tight, though cheesy choreo. I HEART YOU MI VIDA E A O. Huh?
Plus, there’s a giant rotating triangle on the lights. Shameless plug to the gay contingent. But it sounded like it got a good reception.
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3. Belarus, again 3rd up.
Aw, he’s so dreamy. And the rock pose, feet planted 4 feet apart from them is so very well rehearsed. Seems to me he could take a lesson from Darren Romeo, at least is able to sing in tune and do his magic moves at the same time. Dunno about this one, I picked him to do well, but… it feels a little safe to me.
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4. Ireland
Oh, god, Ireland – this is gonna be death. Man, she is really flat… terrible. Kill me now.
She sits on every note. Like a fat woman crushing a big tuffet and her ass cheeks are hanging over. Like when a square is sat on and becomes a trapezoid.
Giving the mp3 isn’t going to help them get votes with as crappy a performance as this. And whipping out the bodhran isn’t going to help either. I stand by my haiku.
England may have competition for 0 points this year.
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5. Finland
She’s stolen Slovenia’s outfit.
Feed issues – but I don’t really feel I’ve missed much.
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6. FYR Macedonia
She’s in better voice tonight. Impressively, at one point she’s lifted up by a dancer and doesn’t miss a note. She looks comfortable up there.
Doesn’t change the fact the song isn’t good. But if performances were the only thing that got them into the top 10, she’s in.
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7. Slovenia
This song is like an Olympic theme, I can see the torch being lit… no, wait, that’s just her hand.
The crowd loves her, especially when she goes into opera voice. Some pitchy with some pretty simple intervals, but overall pretty strong performance. Big voice, and it works well in a big arena.
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8. Hungary
It’s rough to follow Slovenia with a gritty blues song. Most singers would feel a temptation to oversing at the outset to overcome a big operatic number right before, could be trouble. I’m worried that song order could ultimately hurt her. It’s tough, you spend 1 minute of your 3 minutes winning the crowd over.
I get chills on “why did you leave me,” and it leaves the crowd cheering.
I think she won them over, but I don’t think she’ll win.
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9. Lithuania
Yawn. Too many women in a row, and, honey, you do not compare.
Pixie haircut, the rest of the band only gets to be a big shadows on a scrim. She looks nervous.
Again, I have problems with the name and the image. A group with a name “4Fun” should not dress all in black, have shadows, and in general, present a visual image only of black. Drab.
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10. Greece
Wow, Greece has the same staging as Turkey. But it is nice to see him being backed up by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and then turned into a maypole.
The song, however, ain’t no Turkey tune. “No lies, she’s the bomb” Do people use that slang anymore?
The choreo ain’t nothin to write home about either. I haven’t seen choreo this bad since DJ Bobo.
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11. Georgia
Sopho save us!
But, sadly, she’s totally running on adrenaline, and seems to be having less fun than she did in the Semis. She’s trying too hard to project, and it’s too much. Pulling back just a little would’ve helped. I’m hoping, but not sure that top 10 finish I want is possible.
I still don’t care, I love the song.
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12. Sweden
Ah, good timing for some fluff. However, the lead singer has the same problem as Blake Lewis – dead eyes. Also he’s playing too much to the camera. Again, a lot of black staging this time. Although having him sit and spin on the spiral is a nice touch. Funny, “sit and spin” is about where my thoughts were at.
This performance reminds me of the Scissor Sisters. A LOT.
Jen & I decided not to liveblog the final, since writing and viewing is a pain. We’re each going to do our own write-ups.
We had problems with the feed from Octoshape going out on us, to the point where we actually missed all of Russia’s number. We’ll fill in our thoughts on that one after we watch the replay.
One disappointment was that Lordi didn’t perform live. The show kicked off with a video for “Hard Rock Hallelujah”, but I don’t know if Lordi was even there. Too bad.
1. Bosnia
What is she wearing? It looks like a Christmas tree right before you take it down. It’s kind of a dull start to the show. She’s singing fine, but the song just doesn’t do it for me. She should benefit from bloc voting, but I don’t know if anyone else is going to remember this in the end.
2. Spain
Wait, is this 2007 or 1997? A boy band? Seriously? There’s not much harmonizing going on, and the dancing is pedestrian at best. They are in synch… er… so to speak. Technically, they’re fine, but this is a huge whatever.
3. Belarus
Koldun looks like Hugh Jackman. Apparently, this song is about alcohol. It has grown on me, I must say, but I don’t think he’s singing it well. He doesn’t think so either, I bet, since he decides not to go for the high note at the end. Good choice.
4. Ireland
The problem with trying to predict winners based on the songs is that the live performance has the potential to be utterly disastrous (case in point: Jemini). Had I known that Dervish were going to be so pathetically awful live, I would not have predicted the U.K. would get the nil vote. The singer sounds like the folk singer in the Lemmiwinks episode of South Park. Abysmal.
5. Finland
Our feed went out here, but watching the replay showed that I didn’t miss much. Again, it’s Evanescence-lite. It’s gothy and it rocks and whatnot, but it’s just mediocre. I doubt Helsinki will get to host Eurovision again next year.
There’s a little host segment where our hosts Jaana and Mikko meet a girl named Krisse, who says she’s the world’s biggest Eurovision fan and dreams of hosting. She ends up doing backstage bits for the rest of the evening. This is ridiculously staged, since Krisse is a famous Finnish comedienne apparently. She actually turns out to be kind of amusing (especially during the voting when she consoled Scooch when they weren’t doing well).
6. Macedonia
The fog machine is working on overload! Karolina’s singing better here than she did on Thursday, but this is such a dull number. She may do well, but I’m so not into the song.
7. Slovena
Alenka is so happy to be there! It’s kinda sweet, actually. Sadly, the more I hear this song, the more it grates on my nerves. Too low-budget Lloyd Webber. She still loves the lights-on-the-hand bit.
8. Hungary
This is really early, so I hope her distinctive style and the uniqueness of the song (compared to your standard Eurovision fare) helps her get votes later. She’s singing better tonight than during the semis, save for an invisible high note. Excellent performance.
9. Lithuania
Not just 4Fun, The 4Fun. The staging is very simple: lead singer with guitar up front, rest of the band behind a screen in silhouette. The song is bad, though, which the lack of over-the-top staging just points up. Not terrible, but not good either.
10. Greece
Play up that Zorba the Greek stereotype, Sarbel! The words are pathetic: “All eyes on Maria/No lie, she’s the bomb.” Wow. Horrible lyrics, annoying melody. The little Walk Like an Egyptian dance moves don’t help, obviously. They do some dancing with ribbons that’s cute, and the dancers end with the ribbons shaped in the form of the Eurovision heart logo. That’s about all that’s good about this, though.
11. Georgia
Sopho’s oversinging it a bit, but I don’t care. I would love for her to win, although I know it’s not going to happen. This is my favorite song of the competition, and generally she’s given Georgia a good showing tonight.
My semi-final predictions were not so good: I only got five out of the 10 correct. I had three failings:
1. As I said before, I underestimated opera;
2. I also overestimated rock music that didn’t feature make-up and bat wings;
3. I picked Belgium.
In regards to that whole Eastern bloc voting conspiracy thing that seems to be rumbling around Europe right now, I agree with the analysis offered by Mike Atkinson of troubled diva:
“…since the bulk of the Eastern nations joined Eurovision well after the Congratu-Boom-A-Bangy-Diggi-Diggi-Ley years, they are less inclined to see the contest as a camp joke, as we do in the West. Therefore, instead of relying on fading stars or second-rate chancers, they field their biggest stars, take the competition seriously – and hence produce much of the best material.”
Anyway, back to tomorrow’s big event. Here’s my prediction for the top 10. Let’s see if I can redeem myself.
10. Slovenia – Alenka Gotar: “Cvet Z Juga”
9. Russia – Serebro: “Song #1″
8. Georgia – Sopho: “Visionary Dream”
7. Bosnia & Herzegovina – Maria Šestić: “Rijeka Bez Imena”
6. Bulgaria – Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov: “Water”
5. Turkey – Kenan Doğulu – “Shake It Up Shekerim”
4. Germany – Roger Cicero: “Frauen Regier’n Die Welt”
3. Belarus – Koldun: “Work Your Magic”
2. Hungary – Magdi Rúzsa: “Unsubstantial Blues”
1. Serbia – Marija Šerifović: “Molitva”
I am also predicting the U.K. get the nil vote.
I am not confident in these picks, to be honest. I wonder if political issues surrounding Serbia will hurt Marija’s chances. Also, the opera singers make me very nervous.
While the votes were being tabulated, there was some modernized Finnish traditional dance and music. It was pretty bad, yet still better than Poland.
There were quite a few empty seats in Helsinki Arena, by the way. But this is just the semi-finals, and a school night to boot.
UPDATED: I take it back. Some of the clips during the recaps were taken from rehearsal. I figured this out when I saw Magda wearing a different tank-top during her clip.
UPDATED AGAIN: I was right the first time, according to the BBC (who include a picture of Sopho in its article).
Anyway, I had to go to class before the results were announced. I’m home now and getting caught up. Here is the running order for Saturday’s final. Tonight’s semifinal winners are highlighted; the rest are the countries with the bye to the final.
1. Bosnia & Herzegovina – Maria Šestić: “Rijeka Bez Imena”
2. Spain – D’Nash: “I Love You Mi Vida”
3. Belarus – Koldun: “Work Your Magic” (An inevitability, really. I’ve got this stuck in my head right now. It hurts us.)
4. Ireland – Dervish: “They Can’t Stop The Spring”
5. Finland – Hanna Pakarinen: “Leave Me Alone”
6. Macedonia – Karolina: “Mojot Svet” (That’s a surprise, although I don’t mind this one going through at all.)
7. Slovenia – Alenka Gotar: “Cvet Z Juga” (I was right to be nervous.)
8. Hungary – Magdi Rúzsa: “Unsubstantial Blues” (I am so happy about this. Magda could win this, I tell you.)
9. Lithuania – 4Fun: “Love Or Leave”
10. Greece – Sarbel: “Yassou Maria”
11. Georgia – Sopho: “Visionary Dream” (YAAAAAAAY!!!)
12. Sweden – The Ark: “The Worrying Kind”
13. France – Les Fatals Picards: “L’amour À La Française”
14. Latvia – Bonaparti.lv: “Questa Notte” (You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.)
15. Russia – Serebro: “Song #1″
16. Germany – Roger Cicero: “Frauen Regier’n Die Welt”
17. Serbia – Marija Šerifović: “Molitva” (She really was a lock to make the final.)
18. Ukraine – Verka Serduchka: “Dancing Lasha Tumbai”
19. United Kingdom – Scooch: “Flying The Flag (For You)”
20. Romania – Todomondo: “Liubi, Liubi, I Love You”
21. Bulgaria – Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov: “Water” (I’m surprised. I thought going first was going to do them in.)
22. Turkey – Kenan Doğulu – “Shake It Up Shekerim” (Good for him. Kenan had better bring it better on Saturday than he did tonight.)
23. Armenia – Hayko: “Anytime You Need”
24. Moldova – Natalia Barbu: “Fight” (This made it and Switzerland didn’t? Unfair.)
About the only thing I can say is that I underestimated how beloved opera still is in Europe. Other than that, and Moldova going through, I don’t have a huge problem with these results.
Incidentally, I just remembered that they don’t do the elaborate voting procedure during the semis that they use in the finals. They just announce who is moving on. I will pretend Poland got a nil vote, anyway.
UPDATED: As it turns out, Poland ended up with 75 points, which disturbs me. The Czech Republic only got 1 point, from Estonia. That’s still one more than Jemini got.
She’s feeling her inner smile. It makes her smile on the outside. I have no idea why she’s dressed like a vampire. Doesn’t she know that’s Switzerland’s thing this year? But I have to admit, having Torino’s Olympic logo all in lights and on her hand is pretty cool.
Alenka Gotar is wearing the outfit that Natalia Barbu rejected earlier in the night, apparently. What’s up with all the goth stuff, by the way? There’s so much leather tonight that I may become an animal rights activist.
Alenka’s hand is glowing. She has little Swarovski-like stick-on lights on her palm. She looks proud of them.
This song is just so drab. It sounds like a cut number from Phantom, if I’m being honest. The audience seems to have eaten this up, though. That makes me slightly nervous.