Ok, here’s my top 10, plus last place. Given an erratic draw and new voting rules, I am not confident in this order.
1. Denmark
2. Germany
3. Azerbaijan
4. Israel
5. Ireland
6. Turkey
7. Armenia
8. Belgium
9. Greece
10. Iceland
…
25. United Kingdom
The numbers in this year’s song contest are really hit or miss, and most of the misses are in the first semi-final. I would have bet Belarus would not have gotten out of the semis if it weren’t for the fact that it is in this semi. Here are my picks, in the order they appear on the show tomorrow night:
Moldova
Slovakia
Finland
Serbia
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Belgium
Albania
Greece
Belarus
Iceland
The first semifinal is the weaker of the two and harder to call. Without a strong group of songs to qualify on merit, songs that qualify may be more influenced by neighborly and diaspora voting. At least that’s the logic I’ve got going for some of the picks.
Jen’s Semifinal 1 picks, in order of appearance:
Moldova
Russia
Slovakia
Finland
Serbia
Belgium
Albania
Greece
Belarus
Iceland
Break out the crackers, wine, and vodka, because the Eurovision Song Contest, Europe’s annual cheese-fest and search for the “best song in Europe,” is happening this week. This year, national representatives from 43 countries have descended on Oslo through a cloud of volcanic ash courtesy of Iceland. Alexander Rybak’s fiddling and puckish grin linger in the air as Europeans look to crown a new champion. Norway needn’t worry—their entry is competent but they won’t be hosting next year. The semi-finals are May 25 and May 27. The final will be held on May 29.
Who are the contenders?
In the days leading up to the contest, Azerbaijan has the momentum. Safura’s “Drip Drop” is a pop-ballad with RnB influences; it’s relevant, soulful, and catchy. It’s the buzz entry and the bookie’s choice.
Other entries poised to compete this year:
Which are this year’s guilty pleasures?
Let’s face it, this is why we watch. At the core of an unhealthy Eurovision obsession is a deep affection for kitsch, train wrecks, and pop culture gone horribly awry.
Is anyone at risk for a nul points humiliation?
The United Kingdom had a successful 5th place finish last year with an entry penned by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and Dianne Warren. UK organizers attempted to replicate the model this year by bringing in another songwriting heavyweight. Who they found was Pete Waterman, a songwriter who achieved success in the 80s by penning hits for Rick Astley, among others. After what was undoubtedly a lot of coaxing and ego grooming, organizers persuaded Ol’ Pete to go to his filing cabinet and dredge up “That Sounds Good to Me”. Unfortunately, the selection is ridiculously dated, a not-so-subtle echo of Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America”. It cannot be saved by amiable singer Josh Dubovie, nor by the UK’s attempts to develop a more contemporary arrangement. But, hey, our 2-year old likes it.
Björk is representing Iceland at Eurovision this year! Okay, it’s Hera Björk with “Je Ne Sais Quoi,” but I can’t resist using a lame obvious unfunny gag to start things off. Let’s just cut to the song:
It’s a Europop dance anthem, so it’s hard for me to gauge it. On the one hand, Iceland did well with “This Is My Life” a couple of years ago (and “Je Ne Sais Quoi” is certainly very reminiscent of that). On the other hand, Finland did horribly with “Lose Control” last year. Let’s blame Finland’s demise last year on the rapping and then say that Iceland could do decently with “Je Ne Sais Quoi.” Not that I expect it to win, or even place second. But they won’t embarrass themselves either.
Jeez Louise, we watched the Norway, Denmark and Iceland finals and never wrote them up! Damn you, Olympics!!! Let the rectification begin with our look at the reigning champions, who are sending Kris Allen-lookalike Didrik Solli-Tangen and his song “My Heart Is Yours”:
It’s as if Norway collectively thought, “That song Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote last year was quite good. Let’s ape that.” That said, this is a stand-out anthem among all the ballads that are making it to Eurovision this year. Jen said that it shows you, rather then tells you, like all those “I love you I love you I love you” songs. (That’s her term, based on Ukraine’s “I Love You,” which, I neglected to mention in the review, repeated the phrase “I love you” 12 times in English and nine times in Ukrainian. Well, we assume that’s what he’s saying since we don’t speak Ukrainian.)
The Norway final was particularly strong. I mentioned “Jealous ‘Cause I Love You” earlier, but the other stand-out for me was Keep of Kalessin’s “Dragontower,” because I’m still a teenaged metal head.
Let’s compare what I predicted and what actually happened:
Me:
Last: France |
Europe:
Last: Finland |
I put the predictions I got correct in bold, and I italicized correct calls in the top 10.
Obviously, I overvalued Finland and undervalued France. As it turns out, Finland was the jury pick in the first semi, leapfrogging over FYR Macedonia and Montenegro to get to the final.
Asides: As unbelievable as it sounds to me, Croatia actually was the jury pick in the second semi, knocking out Serbia and jumping over Ireland and Poland. Also, the Czech Republic finished with nil point. Ouch. Even Belgium got une point. Tragically, Latvia got seven points in its semi. Oof.
Anyway, as it turns out, Patricia Kaas has a pretty big following, which carried France to eighth place. Had I done research…
I don’t think I was the only one who was shocked that Greece did not finish second. I’d say that performing eighth might have hurt Sakis’ chances, except that Jóhanna went seventh, and Iceland finished second. I also neglected to put Bosnia and Herzegovina in the top 10, which was a foolish mistake on my part.
Before I start the recap from last night’s semi-final, here were Jen’s predictions for the result, which she made right after the performances were over:
Jen wasn’t confident in her Czech pick, but thought it was gimmicky enough to go through. She picked Finland because “Lose Control” is already a dance hit in Europe, and honestly, if I had known that, I probably would have picked Finland over Andorra.
Jen also picked Iceland based on the quality of Jóhanna’s performance. I have to say, she was really good (as was the staging… except for the animated dolphin flying through the sky). The song had done nothing for me before, but, like Norway’s Maria Haukaas Storeng last year, Jóhanna won me over.
In the end, we both got eight out of 10 right. Here are the results of the first semi:
The really disappointing thing for both of us was that Montenegro didn’t go through. It’s a great song, and Andrea Demirović sang it well. Also, her backup dancer was fantastic in a completely campy way. Words can’t describe it, so just go watch it. It’s worth it.
Speaking of things that words can’t describe, the opening number for the show was this big fairy tale story about Russian kids who learn to fly from a phoenix that they later help defeat a dragon. The narration was done by an American, although I have no idea who. I’m pretending it was Sam Waterston.
The vote-tabulation entertainment was a Russian military choir singing traditional songs while Russian dancers did traditional dances. It was very Soviet, actually, but to Russia’s credit, the tank and the MIG that were on stage were painted in festive colors. The tank, for example, was pink with flowers on it. t.A.T.u. showed up at the end, and the best part of their performance was that the military choir sang back-up for them.
When the show began, the first thing we noticed (because it was hard to miss) was that the stage was enormous. While the performers are closer to the audience than they have been the past few years, they are also dwarfed by the width of the stage. Moreover, the video screens behind them are as long as the stage, with additional ones that tower over the performers. If the graphics behind flashed on the screen are too busy, as they often were, performers can easily get lost.
In fact, some of the performances that stood out were ones that made minimal use of the video screens. As mentioned, Iceland did well with just clouds and the occasional dolphin as a backdrop. Malta’s Chiara had nothing but a starfield. In fact, she didn’t have back-up singers, which was a brave, but effective choice.
On the other hand, Turkey’s Hadise and her female back-up singers and dancers were dressed in red (the males were in olive), and they performed in front of a red video, so they all got completely lost. That Hadise sucks at belly dancing didn’t help. On the other hand, she made it through, because, well, she’s from Turkey. Only Dustin the Turkey as an entrant would keep Turkey from getting out of the semis. And even then I’m not sure.
Both the semis are being hosted by model Natalia Vodyanova and TV host Andrey Malakhov, and they of course were charmingly cheesy. Unlike the backstage reporter, whose name I didn’t catch, who was so skeezy that at one point, he actually made one of the Belgian back-up singers visibly uncomfortable.
Anyway, Natalia and particularly Andrey had the gregarious enthusiasm you’d expect from someone at a karaoke bar with a belly full of vodka. They had a lot of jokes, but because English is not their first language, their timing on the jokes was just terrible.
They were more funny with their off-the-cuff banter during the announcement of the finalists. The best part: when Israel got through, Andrey said, “The most political-correct song of the Eurovision 2009 goes to THE FINAL!” Brilliant.
Former Eurovision contestant Alsou and “media personality” Ivan Urgant are the hosts of the finals, so I’m going to miss Natalia and Andrey when they’re done hosting. Fortunately, we’ve got one more night with them tomorrow.
Despite all its economic problems (specifically, it went bankrupt, which I didn’t even know could happen to countries), Iceland is still sending a song to Eurovision: Jóhanna Guðrún Jónsdóttir’s “Is It True?”
I’d write about it, but every time I try to watch this video, I fall asleep.
It’s Eurovision time again, and why not kick off the show in Belgrade with last year’s winner, Marija Šerifović? She does “Molitva,” which for tonight’s show has a more Euro-dance feel to it, not to mention gender-bending back-up dancers. She also does a second song that features the lyric, “They will find one day/Love DNA.”
After a little introductory spiel from hosts Jovana Janković and Željko Joksimović, we get underway.
1. Romania
Bad first note from Nico. In fact, she’s pretty awful tonight. It’s like Vlad is the Steve Lawrence of Romania and Nico is the Eydie Gorme.
2. United Kingdom
It really sucks Andy Abraham is going second. I do love this song, and he does a great job. Slick, polished fun.
3. Albania
Olta Boka just cannot carry that chorus. Her voice lacks the richness to sing it over the orchestration by herself. I kinda like the song, but her performance doesn’t do it for me.
4. Germany
Die alle Heiligen! No, wait, No Angels are nowhere near as good as All Saints. The chorus is actively annoying, and the blonde singer is so far out of tune that she might as well be singing “I’m a Little Teapot.” Horrible.
5. Armenia
Love the song, but Sirusho was a bit flat throughout. Better than her performance in the semis, but still not as good as it could be.
6. Bosnia & Herzegovina
The staging of “Pokušaj” strikes me as a window into how Bosnians interpret French comedies. Regardless, it brings a tear to my eye. I love this song so much. (Sir Terry Wogan appeared to have liked it too, until it got more votes than the U.K.)
7. Israel
Man, I really can’t stand Boaz’ upper register. I wish Dana International did this song, seeing as she wrote it and all.
8. Finland
Bathroom break.
9. Croatia
If it weren’t for 75 Cent yelling at me, I’d completely forget about this number.
10. Poland
Sayeth Sir Terry: “The brightest teeth outside of the Osmond family.” The fake tan brings out the whiteness.
11. Iceland
The orchestration is terrific, the performance is fantastic. A Euro-dance classic.
12. Turkey
The more I hear Mor ve Ötesi’s live performance of this song, the more I like it. I wasn’t sure about Turkey deviating from the Mediterranean pop, but this is a really good song.
13. Portugal
Vânia Fernandes is far and away the best singer at Eurovision. Terrific performance. Maybe a little block voting from Andorra, Spain, and France will help. Romance languages gots ta stick together.
14. Latvia
God, this is so dumb.