The numbers in this year’s song contest are really hit or miss, and most of the misses are in the first semi-final. I would have bet Belarus would not have gotten out of the semis if it weren’t for the fact that it is in this semi. Here are my picks, in the order they appear on the show tomorrow night:
Moldova
Slovakia
Finland
Serbia
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Belgium
Albania
Greece
Belarus
Iceland
The first semifinal is the weaker of the two and harder to call. Without a strong group of songs to qualify on merit, songs that qualify may be more influenced by neighborly and diaspora voting. At least that’s the logic I’ve got going for some of the picks.
Jen’s Semifinal 1 picks, in order of appearance:
Moldova
Russia
Slovakia
Finland
Serbia
Belgium
Albania
Greece
Belarus
Iceland
Break out the crackers, wine, and vodka, because the Eurovision Song Contest, Europe’s annual cheese-fest and search for the “best song in Europe,” is happening this week. This year, national representatives from 43 countries have descended on Oslo through a cloud of volcanic ash courtesy of Iceland. Alexander Rybak’s fiddling and puckish grin linger in the air as Europeans look to crown a new champion. Norway needn’t worry—their entry is competent but they won’t be hosting next year. The semi-finals are May 25 and May 27. The final will be held on May 29.
Who are the contenders?
In the days leading up to the contest, Azerbaijan has the momentum. Safura’s “Drip Drop” is a pop-ballad with RnB influences; it’s relevant, soulful, and catchy. It’s the buzz entry and the bookie’s choice.
Other entries poised to compete this year:
Which are this year’s guilty pleasures?
Let’s face it, this is why we watch. At the core of an unhealthy Eurovision obsession is a deep affection for kitsch, train wrecks, and pop culture gone horribly awry.
Is anyone at risk for a nul points humiliation?
The United Kingdom had a successful 5th place finish last year with an entry penned by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and Dianne Warren. UK organizers attempted to replicate the model this year by bringing in another songwriting heavyweight. Who they found was Pete Waterman, a songwriter who achieved success in the 80s by penning hits for Rick Astley, among others. After what was undoubtedly a lot of coaxing and ego grooming, organizers persuaded Ol’ Pete to go to his filing cabinet and dredge up “That Sounds Good to Me”. Unfortunately, the selection is ridiculously dated, a not-so-subtle echo of Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America”. It cannot be saved by amiable singer Josh Dubovie, nor by the UK’s attempts to develop a more contemporary arrangement. But, hey, our 2-year old likes it.
This is Petr Elfimov’s “Eyes That Never Lie.” Man, Belarus can’t merge with Russia fast enough in my mind. That’s some scream at the end.
The second semi-finals of the Eurovision Song Contest were held in Belgrade, Serbia earlier tonight. As with the first semis, I’ve divided my recap into two parts. Again, unless I mention that the dancing was good, assume that the dancing sucked.
1. Iceland
I love this song. It’s got a Real McCoy feel to it. Euroband’s performance is excellent, but I fear that going first may kill their chances.
2. Sweden
My god, Charlotte Perrelli has had a lot of work done. I mean, she looks unnatural. The song is catchy and she sings it well, so overall a good performance. Nil point for the plastic surgeon, though.
3. Turkey
Turkey’s rocking out this year. I wasn’t into this song before, but Mor ve Ötesi’s performance is very good. They sound great, and they have a lot of intensity. So far, so good tonight.
4. Ukraine
I think Dima Bilan is going to win Eurovision for Russia, but Ani Lorak’s “Shady Lady” is definitely my favorite song this year. The staging of this number is fun. The male dancers are in this box that lights up on each of them during the opening lines of the song. That description so doesn’t do this justice, so just check out the video from the show:
Just fantastic.
5. Lithuania
Now the evening goes downhill. This is absolutely awful. Jeronimas Milius’ singing is all over the place, and he’s over-emoting horribly. This is the Eurovision equivalent of Laurence Olivier in The Jazz Singer. Abysmal.
6. Albania
Olta Boka is not a horrible singer, but she doesn’t have an intense enough voice to handle the chorus of the song. It’s kind of an amateurish performance, which is too bad, because the song is not bad.
7. Switzerland
Here’s your Johnny Logan number for the night. Unfortunately, while “Era Stupendo” is not horrible, Paolo has trouble holding notes. He goes flat if he holds a note longer than three seconds. It’s a problem, but I’m sure this one goes through anyway.
8. Czech Republic
I had high hopes for this, because while “Have Some Fun” is not a profound song by any means, the recorded track sounded pretty good. Live, however, this was an absolute train wreck. They’ve remixed the song for the show and added a deejay who yells throughout the entire song. There are lots of extraneous explosions at random times during the song. The dancing is strikingly awful, even by Eurovision standards. And the singer, Tereza, is completely drowned out by the music. This is utterly atrocious.
9. Belarus
This song is called “Hasta La Vista.” How appropriate. This is so bad that I found myself looking forward to the day Belarus merges into Russia. Also, there are these big mounds with lights in them on the stage that look like leftover props from Invasion of the Body Snatchers: The Musical.
10. Latvia
“Wolves of the Sea” by Pirates of the Sea. Sample lyrics: “We’re robbing you blind/I hope you don’t mind” and “There’s no Peter Pan, so what can you do?” All I can say is never underestimate Rednex’ influence. Still, this is cute enough to go through, I bet.
More in part two.
“As cold as Arctic ice.” This is Ruslan Alekhno’s “Hasta la Vista,” which carries on Belarus’ tradition of songs with horrid lyrics. Jen pointed out it’s a three minute song that’s a minute twenty too long.
Notes taken during the show but not posted…
1. Bosnia & Herzogovena
Natalie Portman isn’t known for her singing. Dressed like a chartreuse ballerina, and I don’t know why she has on her hand a giant postage stamp with a grasshopper in it. But, hey, at least all the dry ice means I don’t have to see how she’s dressed anymore. The backup singers are white figure pottery.
Started rough at first – but got bettter as the song went on. Boring song – closing credits to a Bond film.
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2. Spain
Well, now the competition begins, and Spain comes on with a high energy performance. All dressed in white, they look like 98 degrees. Probably could’ve won 5 years ago – except it’s not 5 years ago. Tight, though cheesy choreo. I HEART YOU MI VIDA E A O. Huh?
Plus, there’s a giant rotating triangle on the lights. Shameless plug to the gay contingent. But it sounded like it got a good reception.
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3. Belarus, again 3rd up.
Aw, he’s so dreamy. And the rock pose, feet planted 4 feet apart from them is so very well rehearsed. Seems to me he could take a lesson from Darren Romeo, at least is able to sing in tune and do his magic moves at the same time. Dunno about this one, I picked him to do well, but… it feels a little safe to me.
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4. Ireland
Oh, god, Ireland – this is gonna be death. Man, she is really flat… terrible. Kill me now.
She sits on every note. Like a fat woman crushing a big tuffet and her ass cheeks are hanging over. Like when a square is sat on and becomes a trapezoid.
Giving the mp3 isn’t going to help them get votes with as crappy a performance as this. And whipping out the bodhran isn’t going to help either. I stand by my haiku.
England may have competition for 0 points this year.
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5. Finland
She’s stolen Slovenia’s outfit.
Feed issues – but I don’t really feel I’ve missed much.
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6. FYR Macedonia
She’s in better voice tonight. Impressively, at one point she’s lifted up by a dancer and doesn’t miss a note. She looks comfortable up there.
Doesn’t change the fact the song isn’t good. But if performances were the only thing that got them into the top 10, she’s in.
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7. Slovenia
This song is like an Olympic theme, I can see the torch being lit… no, wait, that’s just her hand.
The crowd loves her, especially when she goes into opera voice. Some pitchy with some pretty simple intervals, but overall pretty strong performance. Big voice, and it works well in a big arena.
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8. Hungary
It’s rough to follow Slovenia with a gritty blues song. Most singers would feel a temptation to oversing at the outset to overcome a big operatic number right before, could be trouble. I’m worried that song order could ultimately hurt her. It’s tough, you spend 1 minute of your 3 minutes winning the crowd over.
I get chills on “why did you leave me,” and it leaves the crowd cheering.
I think she won them over, but I don’t think she’ll win.
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9. Lithuania
Yawn. Too many women in a row, and, honey, you do not compare.
Pixie haircut, the rest of the band only gets to be a big shadows on a scrim. She looks nervous.
Again, I have problems with the name and the image. A group with a name “4Fun” should not dress all in black, have shadows, and in general, present a visual image only of black. Drab.
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10. Greece
Wow, Greece has the same staging as Turkey. But it is nice to see him being backed up by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and then turned into a maypole.
The song, however, ain’t no Turkey tune. “No lies, she’s the bomb” Do people use that slang anymore?
The choreo ain’t nothin to write home about either. I haven’t seen choreo this bad since DJ Bobo.
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11. Georgia
Sopho save us!
But, sadly, she’s totally running on adrenaline, and seems to be having less fun than she did in the Semis. She’s trying too hard to project, and it’s too much. Pulling back just a little would’ve helped. I’m hoping, but not sure that top 10 finish I want is possible.
I still don’t care, I love the song.
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12. Sweden
Ah, good timing for some fluff. However, the lead singer has the same problem as Blake Lewis – dead eyes. Also he’s playing too much to the camera. Again, a lot of black staging this time. Although having him sit and spin on the spiral is a nice touch. Funny, “sit and spin” is about where my thoughts were at.
This performance reminds me of the Scissor Sisters. A LOT.
So it’s time to vote. To get us started, Jaana and Mikko bring out… Santa Claus, who is apparently drunk. Anyway, we get our recaps during the voting window, then while the votes are tabulated, we get heavy metal cellists surrounded by acrobats on trapezes. Again, seriously disappointed there’s no Lordi tonight. Ah well.
Serbia, Ukraine, and Russia jump out to early leads during the voting and hold onto them. The United Kingdom, Ireland, and, surprisingly, Latvia, go a long time without points. It takes until Ireland reveals their votes before the U.K. gets their first points, although Malta, of all places, gives Scooch the full 12. Weird. Ireland finishes worst on the night with just 5. They didn’t deserve that many. Back to the semis for you.
Anyway, here are the top 10, who get the byes into the finals in next year’s competition:
10. Moldova
9. Hungary
8. Armenia
7. Greece
6. Belarus
5. Bulgaria
4. Turkey
3. Russia
2. Ukraine
1. Serbia
I got six out 10, which is okay, and I did pick the winner. I really didn’t think Ukraine would do so well. Georgia, by the way, finished 12th, which is not too shabby for their first time out.
I thought this was a strong year this year. I’m looking forward to what 2008 brings.
Jen & I decided not to liveblog the final, since writing and viewing is a pain. We’re each going to do our own write-ups.
We had problems with the feed from Octoshape going out on us, to the point where we actually missed all of Russia’s number. We’ll fill in our thoughts on that one after we watch the replay.
One disappointment was that Lordi didn’t perform live. The show kicked off with a video for “Hard Rock Hallelujah”, but I don’t know if Lordi was even there. Too bad.
1. Bosnia
What is she wearing? It looks like a Christmas tree right before you take it down. It’s kind of a dull start to the show. She’s singing fine, but the song just doesn’t do it for me. She should benefit from bloc voting, but I don’t know if anyone else is going to remember this in the end.
2. Spain
Wait, is this 2007 or 1997? A boy band? Seriously? There’s not much harmonizing going on, and the dancing is pedestrian at best. They are in synch… er… so to speak. Technically, they’re fine, but this is a huge whatever.
3. Belarus
Koldun looks like Hugh Jackman. Apparently, this song is about alcohol. It has grown on me, I must say, but I don’t think he’s singing it well. He doesn’t think so either, I bet, since he decides not to go for the high note at the end. Good choice.
4. Ireland
The problem with trying to predict winners based on the songs is that the live performance has the potential to be utterly disastrous (case in point: Jemini). Had I known that Dervish were going to be so pathetically awful live, I would not have predicted the U.K. would get the nil vote. The singer sounds like the folk singer in the Lemmiwinks episode of South Park. Abysmal.
5. Finland
Our feed went out here, but watching the replay showed that I didn’t miss much. Again, it’s Evanescence-lite. It’s gothy and it rocks and whatnot, but it’s just mediocre. I doubt Helsinki will get to host Eurovision again next year.
There’s a little host segment where our hosts Jaana and Mikko meet a girl named Krisse, who says she’s the world’s biggest Eurovision fan and dreams of hosting. She ends up doing backstage bits for the rest of the evening. This is ridiculously staged, since Krisse is a famous Finnish comedienne apparently. She actually turns out to be kind of amusing (especially during the voting when she consoled Scooch when they weren’t doing well).
6. Macedonia
The fog machine is working on overload! Karolina’s singing better here than she did on Thursday, but this is such a dull number. She may do well, but I’m so not into the song.
7. Slovena
Alenka is so happy to be there! It’s kinda sweet, actually. Sadly, the more I hear this song, the more it grates on my nerves. Too low-budget Lloyd Webber. She still loves the lights-on-the-hand bit.
8. Hungary
This is really early, so I hope her distinctive style and the uniqueness of the song (compared to your standard Eurovision fare) helps her get votes later. She’s singing better tonight than during the semis, save for an invisible high note. Excellent performance.
9. Lithuania
Not just 4Fun, The 4Fun. The staging is very simple: lead singer with guitar up front, rest of the band behind a screen in silhouette. The song is bad, though, which the lack of over-the-top staging just points up. Not terrible, but not good either.
10. Greece
Play up that Zorba the Greek stereotype, Sarbel! The words are pathetic: “All eyes on Maria/No lie, she’s the bomb.” Wow. Horrible lyrics, annoying melody. The little Walk Like an Egyptian dance moves don’t help, obviously. They do some dancing with ribbons that’s cute, and the dancers end with the ribbons shaped in the form of the Eurovision heart logo. That’s about all that’s good about this, though.
11. Georgia
Sopho’s oversinging it a bit, but I don’t care. I would love for her to win, although I know it’s not going to happen. This is my favorite song of the competition, and generally she’s given Georgia a good showing tonight.