Here we go.  Azerbaijan’s stock has fallen a bit after the semi, and because it’s got the opening slot on the night.  Adorable magic pixie German girl benefits!

1. Germany
2. Azerbaijan
3. Turkey
4. Belgium
5. Armenia
6. Israel
7. Denmark
8. Georgia
9. Ireland
10. Romania

Last place: United Kingdom

No nul points this year.

If I had a vote, I would vote for Serbia, because I am so cheeky.

1. Denmark
2. Germany
3. Azerbaijan
4. Israel
5. Ireland
6. Turkey
7. Armenia
8. Belgium
9. Greece
10. Iceland

…

25. United Kingdom

Jen
Armenia
Israel
Denmark
Sweden
Azerbaijan
Romania
Ireland
Croatia
Georgia
Turkey

Chris
Armenia
Israel
Denmark
Sweden
Azerbaijan
Ireland
Bulgaria
Croatia
Georgia
Turkey

Moldova
Slovakia
Finland
Serbia
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Belgium
Albania
Greece
Belarus
Iceland

Jen’s Semifinal 1 picks, in order of appearance:

Moldova
Russia
Slovakia
Finland
Serbia
Belgium
Albania
Greece
Belarus
Iceland

Who are the contenders?

In the days leading up to the contest, Azerbaijan has the momentum.  Safura’s “Drip Drop” is a pop-ballad with RnB influences; it’s relevant, soulful, and catchy. It’s the buzz entry and the bookie’s choice.

Other entries poised to compete this year:

• Germany “Satellite”, a cute, quirky pop tune, made cuter and quirkier by Lena’s odd English pronunciations.  She’s an engaging performer and has the influential support of Stefan Raab behind her.
• Armenia “Apricot Stone,” a singer-songwriter story song.  The staging will feature a tree growing out of a giant apricot pit. Roald Dahl would be proud.
• Israel “Milim”. This year’s best ballad, gloriously oversung by Harel Skaat.
• Denmark “In a Moment Like This,” an uber-pop duet.  The shine is off slightly because Chanee and N’Evergreen have struggled in rehearsals, but if they can execute the song is just like candy—sweet, irresistible, and goes down real easy. 

Which are this year’s guilty pleasures?

Let’s face it, this is why we watch.  At the core of an unhealthy Eurovision obsession is a deep affection for kitsch, train wrecks, and pop culture gone horribly awry.

• Iceland “Je ne se Quois”.  In the capable hands of Hera Bjork, Iceland’s perennial Eurovision entry back-up singer, this song is a disco diva masterpiece.
• Serbia “Ovo je Balkan”. This year’s shout out entry to the Balkans is damn catchy.  It’s sung by someone who’s taking his fashion cues from Jimmy Fallon and/or Mike Flowers.
• Belarus “Butterflies”.  The song is saccharine dreck.  But in the staging, the 3 women in band 3+2 grow butterfly wings.  We eagerly await the semifinal to determine if their metamorphosis vaults them into the pantheon of legendary Eurovision kitsch.
• Malta “My Dream”.  It has a man dressed as a bird flapping behind singer Thea Garrett. A Maltese falcon, if you will.
• ESTONIA!!!!! “Siren”.  There’s one entry every year that is actually cool; that is to say we genuinely like it.  Unfortunately, the entry is often too offbeat to find a wide audience from a 3-minute listen.  Malcolm Lincoln’s vocalist does a funny dance, but it’s probably not enough to get them into the finals.  “Siren” draws comparisons with the likes of Simple Minds, but more austere, progressive, and melancholy.

Is anyone at risk for a nul points humiliation?

The United Kingdom had a successful 5^th place finish last year with an entry penned by Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber and Dianne Warren.  UK organizers attempted to replicate the model this year by bringing in another songwriting heavyweight.  Who they found was Pete Waterman, a songwriter who achieved success in the 80s by penning hits for Rick Astley, among others.  After what was undoubtedly a lot of coaxing and ego grooming, organizers persuaded Ol’ Pete to go to his filing cabinet and dredge up “That Sounds Good to Me”.  Unfortunately, the selection is ridiculously dated, a not-so-subtle echo of Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America”.  It cannot be saved by amiable singer Josh Dubovie, nor by the UK’s attempts to develop a more contemporary arrangement.  But, hey, our 2-year old likes it.

1. United Kingdom: There’s a new version of “That Sounds Good to Me,” that takes the original dated version and somehow makes it sound even more dated.  Good luck with that.
2. Germany: Lena’s “Satellite” is a big hit in Germany and Austria, and the bookies can’t decide if she’s the favorite to win or Azerbaijan’s Safura is.  There you go.
3. Sweden: I said nice things about this year’s winner. I take them back.

And it’s been driving us nuts, actually, because there’s so much Eurovision news!  Most of it related to Ukraine!  We’ll review whatever song their sending to the Song Contest soon (we’re pretty sure it won’t change again before we do), but if you’ve not been following, ESCtoday has a good summary of what the hell happened there.

More soon.  For reals.

Yeah, I can’t stay awake during it either.

I know it shouldn’t feel weird to hear Dolph speaking in Swedish, but it is.  Anyway, this is Sweden, so you know that there’s going to be some quality entries.  Jen’s favorite was Eric Saade’s “Manboy“, because it’s called “Manboy” and is actually cheesier than the name would indicate.  I dug Salem Al Fakir’s “Keep On Walking“, which had a different sound than you would usually find at the Melodifestivalen.

Ultimately, the song that won was the song that was on top of the Swedish charts when the show aired, Anna Bergendahl’s “This Is My Life”:

A perfectly amiable ballad that sort of grows on you upon repeated listens.  It certainly has the gravitas that a winning entry has, and I bet it had an inside chance of doing well this year, even if we’re seeing scads of ballad entries.

UPDATE: I am totally wrong about this.  ”This Is My Life,” upon repeated listens, gets really, really, really annoying. So annoying.

During the voting period, there was a medley of past Swedish and Norwegian entries, which culminated in Alexander Rybak performing “Fairytale” again.  Of the five shows we watched on Saturday, he was on three of them: a live performance in the U.K. on Friday and a live performance in Sweden on Saturday, plus a taped cameo for Estonia. Plus he did the Russian final as well.  Goodness knows how many other national finals he showed up at.  Frankly, I can’t wait for the final to start just so I know it’ll be the last time I hear that song for a while.

Anyway, the highlight of the evening was the glam rock band Casablanca performing last year’s Swedish entry, “La Voix”:

Two things to note:

1. Couldn’t they have just sent Casablanca last year?
2. Malena Ernman could totally kick all their asses with one uber-muscular arm tied behind her back.